I wanted a scientific way to make my bold prediction for the World Series. First I bought some sabermetric stats from a guy on the street corner. It was a very shady transaction and I only learned that Bill James is a dork (don't worry, I vow to out-dork him...keep reading). Then I purchased ESPN Insider, because EVERY worthwhile baseball article is an Insider story. Although it was awesome to pay $40 to read about Jason Stark's sex dreams with Roger Clemens, overall it was not worth it.
So who do I turn to? Where can I go to get an accurate prediction for the 2006 World Series?
RBI Baseball, son.
Let me set the scene for you: it's a Friday and I thought that sitting around watching television is not dorky enough for me. Let's fire up the ol' Nintendo and watch a simulated World Series between the Tigers and Cardinals!
The only flaw in this incredible idea was that rosters of each team consist of players from 19 years ago, all of which are retired now. However, I was looking forward to watching a baseball game without 700 ads for House, Bones, Standoff, Justice, and Prison Break. I will miss Toby Keith and truck commercials, though. You win some, you lose some.
Game One: John Tudor vs. Doyle Alexander
This thing has got to go in the Cardinals' favor--Willie McGee hits a 3 run shot in the top of the first! The Tigers quickly come back. My RBI Baseball arch-nemesis Tom Brookens leads the comeback charge with a bomb in the second. This game was pretty sloppy, I must have turned the "errors" volume up because the two teams made a total of 10 errors in game one! Also the computer Cardinals had trouble on the basepaths (imagine that). Late charge by the Redbirds: 5 runs in the ninth, but they fall short.
Tigers 14, Cardinals 10
Game Two: Ken Dayley vs. Willie Hernandez
Because of the lack of strategy the computer uses, game two has to be a bullpen start. This had all the makings of an ugly game. Tons of jacks and errors again--including two by O. Smith on the same play! You know the wind must have been howling when Curt Ford goes deep in a game. Detroit scores 7 in the seventh to come back and win. Boo this game.
Tigers 20, Cardinals 17
Game Three: Tudor vs. Alexander
After an Alan Trammell home run I flipped the channel. That took the crowd (me) out of the game quickly. Checked back a little later and the Cardinals were still down. Just 19 minutes for this one. I don't think it was meant to be...
Tigers 9, Cardinals 6
Game Four: Dayley vs. Hernandez
Here we go again. Bullpen start, I can't watch. This game was even quicker than the last. After a big 6 run third inning, Detroit knew it was only a matter of time to start rioting. I was able to see another O. Smith error (he made at least five this series). Darrell Evans HR put this thing on ice. Luckily when Lou Whittaker was throwing the final out to first base, I hit the reset button. So technically none of this ever happened.
Tigers 13, Cardinals 3 (six innings). Series MVP: Darrell Evans.
- Que Jim Nantz: "And the Tigers ROAR to a World Series Championship!"
- Que Bob Carpenter: "They sure have had a PURRRR-FECT season"
After seeing all this transpire, my prediction for the 2006 World Series: Tigers sweep dammit.
Stupid RBI Baseball. I know Detroit isn't on the east coast, but I still need something to blame for another Cardinal playoff failure. Maybe next year we can trade for Reggie Jackson.